Vivien K. Wilk

Inside she noticed a stifling air. Probably no one had ventilated recently, not since Evelyn's death. The thought pushed itself dominantly into Grace's head. Her stomach suddenly went slack and she had to swallow hard. Was it really such a good idea to stay here? Grace felt as if she was invading the house. Like she doesn't belong here. A slight shiver ran down her back. Only after a moment did she notice that the front door was still open.

"Quite a thick air," said Mr. Steel when he saw her look.

Grace nodded in confirmation. She turned back to the shop. Reluctantly, she took a few steps forward. It was different from what she remembered. The chair on which she had been sitting back then was now behind the counter. In addition, the shelves were apparently newer. But what did she expect? In as long as she hadn't been here, it was no wonder things had changed.

"Shall we go upstairs?" Asked Mr. Steel, "You are probably very tired from the trip."

He locked the door and then went to the spiral staircase that led up to the private area next to the counter, on the right side of the shop.

"Is it really okay for me to sleep here?"

The question just blurted out of Grace. At almost the same moment she regretted saying the words. Mr. Steel had paused. He turned to her and she could see a smile on his face despite the darkness.

"Don't worry. Evellyn told me to look after you, should something happen to her. I should give you the keys to the shop and make sure that you feel comfortable here. And to help you take care of everything. She wanted you to be here. "

Actually, his words should have reassured her, but Grace felt a tremor go through her body. Suddenly she felt so weak and so infinitely tired.

"I really should lie down."

"Then we go up."

Mr. Steel started to climb the spiral staircase. As soon as he reached the top, the light turned on above her. Grace blinked. It was strange how bright the light felt. Slowly she began to calm down and she was able to follow him upstairs.

The spiral staircase ended in a hallway which ran at a right angle. Two doors opened from here. If she looked over the railing she could still look down into the bookstore. In the corner was a dark blue wing chair. It wasn't the same, but Grace remembered that there had always been one standing there. Whenever she felt uncomfortable downstairs, she came up here. Here she could sit, read and still hear Evellyn downstairs in the shop. Sometimes she had just sat there and listened to the noises. She continued to look down the hall. If she remembered correctly, the doors led to the living room and kitchen. However, she just didn't feel the urge to find out if she was right. So she followed Mr. Steel without thinking about it. He took the first door and they found themselves shortly afterwards in the dining and living room. The room was divided in half by a wide, brick fireplace. Another spiral staircase led under the roof where the bedrooms had been.

"I think I'll have you set up yourself first. Sure you remember that the bedrooms are upstairs. I don't know if there's anything left to eat, but there definitely something to drink. A baker is right around the corner, you'll find something there in the morning. I hope that's okay. "

"Of course," said Grace, "I ate on the plane and train anyway. To be honest, I'll probably go to sleep right away."

"Do that. And if you need something, you have my number."

Grace escorted Mr. Steel downstairs, where he handed her the keys. Then they said goodbye and Grace was suddenly alone in the shop. She didn't know why, but she stopped and watched Mr. Steel get into his car and drive away. Then she continued to stand in the darkened shop and looked out.

Even if she was here, it all seemed so unrealistic. Somehow she expected Evellyn to show up at any moment. She was so intertwined with the store in her memories that she thought she heard her footsteps. Grace shook her head. Perhaps she should really sleep first and continue to deal with her thoughts tomorrow. She turned away and went back upstairs. When she got to her suitcase, she looked around a little. Not much had changed in the apartment, unlike the shop. It was the same dark brown dining table with six chairs. She was almost certain that one of them still had the scratches from Melody angerly throwing the cutlery on the seat. The couch corner still consisted of the same dark gray corner sofa and matching armchairs. Only the flat screen TV was obviously new. Right next to it, Grace discovered the router. Without further ado she took off her shoes and jacket, took her cell phone and knelt next to the router. It didn't take long before she got internet. During the trip, she had switched off the mobile data for most of the time and WiFi was only available in the train station. So it was not surprising that shortly after it connected, several messages came in from her family. There were also two of Samantha's, in which she asked Grace if she had already arrived. Grace sank down on the sofa and sent messages to everyone that she had arrived and would now go to bed. If she was being honest, she didn't really feel like reading through all of the news in detail. She could do that in the morning too. After everything was sent, Grace picked up her suitcase and carried it up the spiral staircase. She had to look for a moment, but found the light switch at the end. It was a narrow hallway in which her aunt had nevertheless managed to put a bookshelf. Here she had mostly stored the books she had read herself and a few comics for Melody. Her sister had always enjoyed comics more than books, and on rainy days they'd sat here in the hallway and rummaged through books together. Grace couldn't help but smile. She hadn't even realized how much time she'd spent here with Melody. As she thought about it for a while, it was suddenly no longer so surprising that she still felt a strong bond with her. Unlike with Daniel. Grace sighed softly. In the end, her thoughts hadn't taken a particularly pleasant path.

Back from her memories, Grace turned left. She opened the door there, relieved to find that she had remembered correctly. Here was still the guest room, a small, cozy attic space. There wasn't much room to move around here, as there was space for a bed, a desk, a chest of drawers and a shelf. However, she had to sneeze immediately when she entered the room. Even in the pale light of the ceiling lamp it could be seen that no one had been here for a long time. There was a thick layer of dust on all the furniture and the air was more stuffy than in the other rooms.

Hopefully I'll find new bedding. I don't think this has been changed at any time recently.

Grace crossed the room and opened the round window opposite the door. However, she couldn't take it any longer and decided to look for sheets and maybe a rag. She found what she was looking for in the bathroom, right next to her room. Evellyn had apparently put some of her cleaning things here. She found a small bucket, as well as cleaning supplies and a rag. While she was pouring water into the bucket, she looked around a little more closely. The bathroom was in good condition. Although you saw that here too had not been cleaned for a few weeks, there was still not a thick layer of dust everywhere. The question of how quickly Evellyn's health must have deteriorated brought Grace back to her mind. If she had been sick for a long time, surely she would have contacted her sister. But what did she have that made her die so suddenly?

Grace made a mental note to ask Mr. Steel these questions the next day. If he had been that good known with Evellyn, he would surely be able to give her answers. The bucket was finally full and she put it next to the door to her room. The only question left now was where she would find bedding. A memory slowly crept into the back of her mind, but she received it with unease. She thought she remembered that Evellyn had always fetched the sheets from her room. Undecided, she stood in front of the door, which was directly across from her room. If the feeling hadn't been there before, the feeling of being an intruder would now be overwhelming. She couldn't just go into Evellyn's room and rummage through everything. It felt wrong.

Grace looked around for help. Had she seen anything downstairs? With a sigh she went back down the stairs and looked around. To her relief, her gaze immediately fell on a blanket that was neatly folded on the sofa. Her shoulders sagged slightly as tension left her body. With a lighter step, she took the blanket and some pillows from the sofa to climb back up with them. Once at the top, she got the dusty bedding off the bed.

For the next twenty minutes she was busy preparing the room so that the dust would not get up her nose as soon as she moved around Finally, she brought her suitcase in and stood for a moment in the middle of the room. Her limbs began to feel heavy and yet a deep contentment stirred in her. At least she would have a place of retreat in all this chaos where no one could disturb her. Grace sat down in the rickety chair in front of the desk. Tired, she rested her chin on both hands while her gaze wandered out of the window. In the darkness of the evening there wasn't much to see around her, except for her own reflection. Grace watched as she tilted her head a little to the right. Her cheek came to rest on her hand while two, almost closed eyes looked towards her. The deep, dark circles under the eyes seemed harmless compared to how she felt. And even though she was infinitely tired, she couldn't bring herself to get up. Her gaze lingered on her face that was framed by her dark, slightly curled hair. By itself, her aunt's face began to slide over it. Her warm, soft features, her pronounced mouth, the strand that always fell on her face. How often had Melody and Grace joked that Evellyn should cut her hair if she was so annoying about this strand. And her great-aunt had laughed every time and replied, that she had to cut herself a bald head to have her hair do what it should.

No, she didn't really see anything of Evellyn on her features. She had no idea how Mr. Steel had come up with the idea of ​​comparing herself to her. A stinging sensation formed in her stomach and began to move back and forth in slow movements. Grace sagged with her arms and head down and came to rest on the desk. It just didn't go into her head. She was here, Evellyn wasn't. And yet she didn't feel like she was alone. It was surreal. She had never felt anything like it. Her expectation and her actual knowledge vied for her sanity. Frustrated, she let out a loud breath before rubbing her eyes. Nothing came of it. Probably she wouldn't think clearly until she got enough sleep.

Grace got up and changed to sleep. She took her pill to help her fall asleep before snuggling into her improvised bed. When she reached for the lamp, she hesitated. Suddenly she felt vulnerable and afraid when she thought of lying in the dark in this big house. Her hand stayed in the air, like in a movie that someone had stopped. It was childish, but she could leave the light on for a moment. Just for a moment.