Vivien K. Wilk

The thumping bass sounded through the night. It found it way up to all the open windows, where the music echoed in a muffled tone. Grace sighed before getting up and closing her window. The noise had torn her from her thoughts. Actually, she had thought that she had finally found a beginning for her essay, but when she looked at the screen of her laptop, she could only shake her head. Someone could tell from the way her sentences were written, that she had formulated them with the greatest struggle and that they were a symbol of how difficult this work had been for her. She had put off work on it again and again, but now time was running out. And Professor Samson was known for not allowing delay. That was actually a right thing, but now that she was in this situation, Grace wished that lecturers could be easily convinced. With Professor Digling, she could have done it like Samantha and simply burst into tears during the consultation. But the very thought was so uncomfortable that she pushed the idea of ​​it aside. If she was being honest, she's been looking at Samantha differently since she laughed and told her that her little trick had worked. It didn't seem fair to take advantage of someone else's compassion just because you didn't plan enough time to write. Or put it off for weeks.

Grace stared at her screen for a moment before she took a deep breath. At least giving something was better than not putting anything on paper. If she turned in something and failed, she could at least work on the essay afterwards.

Come on! You have done this many times before, just pushing through and not thinking.

Just as she put her hands on the keyboard, the door to her room swung open behind her and someone walked in with sweeping steps. Samantha. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her friend and roommate go to her closet and open it.

"Can I have the green top?", Samantha asked, "You know, the one that is almost down to your knees."

"Hip" corrected Grace automatically, "Take it."

"Thank you, you're a sweetheart."

Samantha tossed her t-shirt on Grace's bed and before changing. The green color suited her. It matched her light brown hair and tanned skin. Where it went a little over the waist with Grace, it ended with her friend at the belly button. It was not just because of the size, but also because Grace was much more skinny than her friend. Samantha kept joking that one day Grace would be swept away in a gust of wind

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" Samantha asked while she looked at herself happily in the mirror.

"Yes. I really need to get the essay ready."

"Professor Samson right."

Samantha turned from the mirror and walked over to her. She glanced at the screen briefly before looking at Grace.

"But honestly, you look so tired. Do you even get anything meaningful down? Come with me tonight, relax a little and continue writing tomorrow. You have to get out again. I mean you're always pale, but as pale as now ... "

She left her sentence unfinished. Grace felt her demanding look on her.

"I'm really sure," she replied with a small smile, "you can take them all with you. At least the house will be quiet."

"Your wish is my command. As always."

Samantha laughed and straightened up.

"And if you have trouble sleeping again, just take one of my pills. They are harmless. With the dark circles under the eyes, it's no wonder that none of the boys invited you on a date."

"Like I had time for that," Grace replied with a low sigh.

"That's because your mother built a nice nest in your head. You really don't have to take everything that seriously. It's not like they'll turn off the money, if you need a semester or two longer. "

Probably not.

Grace didn't speak her thoughts, just nodded. Samantha seemed to be satisfied with that, because she raised her hand in parting.

"See you tomorrow, then."

"See you tomorrow and have fun."

Grace watched her friend leave her room. She also listened to the steps as she went down the stairs. In fact, she sat there listening until she couldn't hear any more noises in the house. It was another respite from her real work. For the past few weeks Samantha had been able to talk her into everything every time she came along. But now her worry was stronger than her displeasure. And it wasn't just her parents' disappointed voice that she heard in her head. She heard her brother making fun of her grades every time they met at their parents' home. He had always had perfect notes in everything. Up to the university degree. And she had only dropped out of school with a 1.2. She only spoke about her current grades when she absolutely had to. Fortunately, her family assumed that if you didn't talk about something, everything was alright. On the whole, her studies went well, with a few bumps in the road. Especially in the last semesters.

It doesn't matter now!

Grace grumbled softly. She did it again. She distracted herself with all sorts of things, no matter how uncomfortable it was. She had to write. She had to finish this damn essay. She sorted her sources, next to her on the desk and looked back at the screen. It had to be at least a couple of pages.

 

A penetrating and uncomfortable ringing slowly brought Grace out of sleep. It took her a moment to realize that the sounds were coming from her smartphone.

I really need to change the ringtone.

The thoughts crossed her mind as she reached for the smartphone and squinted at the display. It took her head a long time to understand that it wasn't an alarm clock, it was a phone call. From her mother?

The tiredness was pushed aside and while she took the call, she checked the time. Six o'clock. Her mother was awake, of course, but it was unusual for her to call Grace.

"Yes?" She asked sleepily while pressing the smartphone to her ear.

"Grace, sorry that I woke you up," said her mother's voice, "I have bad news."

Startled, Grace sat up. Had something happened to her father? His blood pressure wasn't the best. Or was there a problem with her sibling?

"What happened?"

"I'm sorry honey, but Great Aunt Evellyn passed away last night."

"What?"

Grace sat speechless in her bed. It had been a long time since she had spoken to her great-aunt. A few months ago Evellyn had written her a letter. Grace had written back to her, but now her answers suddenly felt so trivial and short. Memories shot into her head. Pictures from their vacations at Evellyn house. How she'd played in her garden and sat in the bookstore for hours. It was so long ago. She had completely forgotten how happy she was every time there.

"I know that she was very important to you," she heard her mother at the other end, "That's why I wanted to tell you right away. I'm sorry that I had to wake you up with such unfortunate news."

"It's okay, mom," Grace replied, "thanks for letting me know."

"Not for that, honey. I have to see what's in store for us right away. I mean, she had no children and Grandma is not fit enough to take care of something like an inheritance. And then this whole thing, that it is abroad. "

She heard her mother sigh and found herself just nodding over and over.

"It'll be okay mom," she said because of that.

"Certainly. My aunt Evellyn had a lawyer. I'll contact him. But now I have to break up. I have to get ready for work."

"Okay, do that. Contact me if I can help."

"I will. Have a nice day."

Grace sat with the smartphone to her ear and listened to the signal telling her that her mother had hung up. Only after a moment did she lower the smartphone and put it back on the bedside table.

She wasn't tired anymore. The air in her room suddenly felt stuffy and heavy. There was a cold sweat on her forehead as she got up and went to the window. The noise outside had long since subsided and the soft chirping of the morning reached her ear.

Grace stood by the open window, her gaze wandering aimlessly into the distance.

Aunt Evellyn was dead.

She listened to herself to see if there was any reaction. Did she feel sad? Was she mad at herself? Did she feel different?

It didn't matter how long she stood there, she couldn't put what she felt into words. She knew she must be sad, but it didn't feel like it. Evellyn had died and the world hadn't changed a bit. It wouldn't even affect her. She had hardly thought of her great aunt and they had last seen each other years ago. The letters were the only thing that kept a weak connection with her. Ireland had been too far away to just call or visit her.

Grace began to feel guilty. Her wonderful memories collided with the lack of sadness. She couldn't understand why she felt so normal.

Grace took a deep breath before pulling away from the window. No matter how she felt, she had too much to do today to indulge in it. Maybe she just needed time.